Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
