peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
