His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
