there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I love having hate sex.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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