is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
