Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I love you. Go after that dick
All I want is dick and wine.
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