Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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