im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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