this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
