YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
