Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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