Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
