That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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