It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
