i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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