you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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