Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
