i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
birth control should be required to get into college
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
