My hand turned me down
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
