Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize