she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You are the jesus of drinking
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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