Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize