I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
