He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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