there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
