tonight lets celebrate not being married
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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