If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize