i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
