It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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