so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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