I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
