oh god the rape fog is back!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
