I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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