she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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