Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize