break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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