She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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