did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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