real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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