I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
