Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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