Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
love makes seman taste better
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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