Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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