I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
