We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
