wakey wakey hands off snakey
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You were trust falling into bushes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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