i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
