should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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