Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
