This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
