I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
