i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
