There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
