I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize