The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
