I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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