how can u be prego again
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
