I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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