you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
