hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
