I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
