She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
