I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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