is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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