I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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