All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
