my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
